Newbie looking for quick result

Hi there all!

I am a newbie here and probably a newbie in everything. I am 38 years old weigh 82kg. I want to start out an excellent programme that will help me increase endurance and strength. Kindly advise which rods will be appropriate?

I would say i have 20% body fat, and done my health check up and I am 100% fine as per my GP.

Thanking you in advance.

Jacob Zuma wrote:

Hi there all!

I am a newbie here and probably a newbie in everything. I am 38 years old weigh 82kg. I want to start out an excellent programme that will help me increase endurance and strength. Kindly advise which rods will be appropriate?

I would say i have 20% body fat, and done my health check up and I am 100% fine as per my GP.

Thanking you in advance.

"Jacob Zuma"? :blink:

Roozer wrote:

Jacob Zuma wrote:

Hi there all!

I am a newbie here and probably a newbie in everything. I am 38 years old weigh 82kg. I want to start out an excellent programme that will help me increase endurance and strength. Kindly advise which rods will be appropriate?

I would say i have 20% body fat, and done my health check up and I am 100% fine as per my GP.

Thanking you in advance.

"Jacob Zuma"? :blink:

Yep!

Jacob Zuma! Would you help then Roozer?

Jacob Zuma wrote:

Roozer wrote:

Jacob Zuma wrote:

Hi there all!

I am a newbie here and probably a newbie in everything. I am 38 years old weigh 82kg. I want to start out an excellent programme that will help me increase endurance and strength. Kindly advise which rods will be appropriate?

I would say i have 20% body fat, and done my health check up and I am 100% fine as per my GP.

Thanking you in advance.

"Jacob Zuma"? :blink:

Yep!

Jacob Zuma! Would you help then Roozer?

Well buddy 82 kg and 20% BF its rather light but i pressume you are short. Remember dont think juice is a quick fix. it's a lengthy dedicated lifestyle.

How long have you been training for and how tall are you?

and before you get on the juice make sure your diet and training is in order. DIET,TRAINING then juice in that order. and it is going to be your first cycle then it will be small yet simple just plain test and pct. make sure you go and research all that you can until you are blue in the face on roids and other compounds.

Or else you are going to stuff up your health and body.

All the guys in here are extremely informatable about this substances and make sure you listen carefully.

Post us your dieet and training. and your height. And what you want to do cut or bulk.

I am 1,57 meters and from a martial artist background and my training has been just that martial arts exercises; i.e. mostly cardio and little bit strength training. Whether cut or bulk? I prefer bulking but I need good advise on how to eliminate water retention as well.

Jacob Zuma wrote:

I am 1,57 meters and from a martial artist background and my training has been just that martial arts exercises; i.e. mostly cardio and little bit strength training. Whether cut or bulk? I prefer bulking but I need good advise on how to eliminate water retention as well.

IMO stay away from the roids bud first get your diet and training in order before hitting the juice otherwise you are going to hurt yourself and must say I don't like the name to much :dry:

Will try to change the name. Just couldn't think of something I can remember, so I opted for the common familiar name.

Will stay away as per your advise but please feel me in; why? Do you mean even using Drive will be bad?

here are some threads u need to read before u do anything
www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/forum/8-train...-because-of-stomache
www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/faq/1-general
www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/faq/2-steroid-cycles
www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/forum/5-post-...sperate-need-of-help
www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/forum/5-post-...-pct-after-1st-cycle

www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/forum/8-train...36687-training-split
www.anabolicsteroids.co.za/forum/10-diet...eating-your-own-diet

and bro if u want quality results nothing is quick. if u want good results then ask the right questions,steroids are only 10% of the work,training is 20% and diet is 70% of the work..if u dont get the diet right u are going backwards,if your training is not right u are not going anywhere and by adding in steroids before the first 2 are right u are going to waste your money.

Don’t listen to DJ or anyone here. They all talking kak.


For the quickest results Mr. Zuma you need the following:


1: Shower Cap
2: Shower
3: Seventy Eleven Wives
4: +30 children
5: Bully Beef x20 can a day
6: USN Grow Super Dooper Fok Fast Protein Delux
7: Vaseline


Take the shower cap and put it in the shower. Put the water on full (Hot and Cold)

Take your seventy eleven wives and +30 children (+30 is not the age )

Get them all to open the Bully beef in a anti clock wise direction.

Empty all the cans onto the floor .. Now in a toi toi fashion , bliskem the Bully beef wiff you feet.

Now roll the bully beef into little balls and put it under each +20 plus children arm pits
And the seventy eleven wives.

Leave the Bully Beef for a few days to “mature “

After the 5 days .. Take the Bully Beef (now flat ) and put the USN Grow Super Dooper Fok Fast Protein Delux .

Now drink the Vaseline ( should help the Usn Bully Beef Surprise go down easier)

Now swallow and wait for 2 weeks . You should pick up 10kg easy..


Go to the showe. Turn the water off and take the shower cap out..

THE END

Haha +1 for effot - very funny

Jacob Zuma wrote:

I am 1,57 meters and from a martial artist background and my training has been just that martial arts exercises; i.e. mostly cardio and little bit strength training. Whether cut or bulk? I prefer bulking but I need good advise on how to eliminate water retention as well.

Hey JZ:

I agree with the boys here, get you diet on track first, if you do not know how, ask "DJ", he will give you a diet according to your needs( bulking, cutting). Second you must get your training in order, once that is done you can then ask for advice on gear.

Don't get me wrong we can tell you take this take that, as most guys @ your local gym would, but it's not about that here, as that would give you the results while you are on the gear and hurt yourself in the process, but as soon as you stop you loose it all as quickly as you put it on. Listen to the dudes here most of us have learned the hard way, taking gear is only a 10, 15 % of your results the rest is about your diet, and your training. Do a bit more research, about different gear, familiarize yourself with the good and bad of gear, do research on PCT.

And you will see your questions will change cause you have familiarized yourself with the gear you want to take, or do you just push anything into your body without doing research on it first?

Jacob Zuma wrote:

Hi there all!

I am a newbie here and probably a newbie in everything. I am 38 years old weigh 82kg. I want to start out an excellent programme that will help me increase endurance and strength. Kindly advise which rods will be appropriate?

I would say i have 20% body fat, and done my health check up and I am 100% fine as per my GP.

Thanking you in advance.

One thing that you not going to get here is a handout when it comes to gear unless you come across as having done your research and at least attempted to get your mind right in regards to what your goals are.

But in saying that if your intentions are to lose body fat then You need to first, before even thinking about gear, up your work rate in the gym.

I would advise the following:
1: Hit the gym at least 5 times a week.
2: Formulate a workout programme that utilizes as many combination or compound exercises as possible. Focus on the squats, dead lifts, bent over rows, pull ups, lunges, standing shoulder press, clean and press etc. This will give you an overall body work out which will utilize the maximum amount of muscle resulting in the maximum amount of calories burnt.
3: When doing the above keep the weights at a weight that will allow you to peak at approx 6 reps.
4. Keep the rest period between sets at no more that 1.5 minutes in order to keep your heart rate up. Keep the workout sessions to about 40-50 minutes per session.
5. Do these workouts every second day. Every other day do cardio. I prefer high intensity as it strips fat. Use a heart rate monitor if you have one.
6. Rest is really important if you going to try this as it is a really intensive workout.
7. Get your diet right. Its pointless pissing all your gym efforts away by taking in crap.

Thank you all for your input. Trust me, it did not fall on deaf ears. I will start by researching. Phew! Sitting around PC till 2AM is not funny. there is no end to this.

As for training I am already training but as said earlier not in bodybuilding field. i guess I will be struggling to even understand some terminology here, but will try.

Thank you, once more.

acidkidsa wrote:

Don’t listen to DJ or anyone here. They all talking kak.


For the quickest results Mr. Zuma you need the following:


1: Shower Cap
2: Shower
3: Seventy Eleven Wives
4: +30 children
5: Bully Beef x20 can a day
6: USN Grow Super Dooper Fok Fast Protein Delux
7: Vaseline


Take the shower cap and put it in the shower. Put the water on full (Hot and Cold)

Take your seventy eleven wives and +30 children (+30 is not the age )

Get them all to open the Bully beef in a anti clock wise direction.

Empty all the cans onto the floor .. Now in a toi toi fashion , bliskem the Bully beef wiff you feet.

Now roll the bully beef into little balls and put it under each +20 plus children arm pits
And the seventy eleven wives.

Leave the Bully Beef for a few days to “mature “

After the 5 days .. Take the Bully Beef (now flat ) and put the USN Grow Super Dooper Fok Fast Protein Delux .

Now drink the Vaseline ( should help the Usn Bully Beef Surprise go down easier)

Now swallow and wait for 2 weeks . You should pick up 10kg easy..


Go to the showe. Turn the water off and take the shower cap out..

THE END

LOL!!!!!

THIS IS KAAK FUNNY!

Hey Zuma,

What's with the name Dude, need a few ideas? Ok Jokes aside, As all the guys said it is simple, when you build a house you will certainly ensure that your foundation is solid and of course building on rock is even better, Thus: Get your current lifestyle(foundation) in order (dieet, training etc,) and you will have a rock to build on first things first.

You cannot go from flying single prop planes to flying a jet , you will crash and burn.

Quick fix = NO fix

Happy Hunting, keep it real Zuma.(Change the role model) :kiss: :lol:

Jacob Zuma wrote:

....I will start by researching. Phew! Sitting around PC till 2AM is not funny. there is no end to this.
....

It never stops. Once bitten you just keep going. Years on and you will still not know everything. Thats why we all keep comming back here.