Sex life/frequency

Okay guys I know this forum is not exactly the forum that relates to this stuff but I couldn't think of a better place to find people who don't have more relationship issues than an adopted ginger kid. (Sorry if there is any gingers on the forum, just a joke )

Anyways my question is for the guys who are in serious committed monogamous relationships, on average how often do you have sex? How important would you rate it in your relationship. Does she initiate it or is it always you?

I'm asking this because of late it feels like my relationship of 8 months has fallen into this dryzone where I'm lucky if we have sex once a week and then it feels like I have almost begged for it. I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. In the beginning it wasn't crazy maybe 3 times a week which I was okay with but now it's almost a situation of me pressuring for it and her denying it. I love her and get along well with her in everything else we even train together. What would you guys do if you were in a similar position?

Anyways I have got that off my chest and found my adex I'll stop moaning :oops: Haha

When was the last time you did something good that's very personal for her? Example you went on a picnic and you made sure that your song played.

Also, what is the rest of your relationship like? Do you just "get along" well? Sounds a bit...boring? (no offense intended, just trying to figure out if the relationship is still something you guys want to be in, not just have sex)

Foreplay for us men is just before sex the half hour or hour before actually engaging in sex, for women it is the whole day how you spoke to her, what you did for her, how was her day, everything and I mean everything will contribute to the end of the day when you lying in bed and you are horny she is just emotionally a mess especially if she has a day job. Take time through your day to send her msgs make her smile let her thoughts become focused on you, don't nag her but just a thoughtful MSG here and there helps. Don't rush her, go wash her back, sit in the bathroom while she baths talk to her, offer to rub lotion on her, take your time trust me the more you are in connection with her the more you will have sex. Sex is very important in a relationship, it's a way for the two of you to really be intimate an get closer, but don't let it be the be all and end all, too little and she will go elsewhere too much and it seems like that's all you want

From my past relationships its usually around 6/7 months where sex becomes less of a focus for women and they start wanting more affirmation that you are really into them as a person and not just their vaginas. The first few months are always a rush of hormones and intensity before things settle down and you see if you are really compatible besides in the bedroom. It takes a long time to really get to know someone. Looks like you've reached that stage in this relationship boet.

Kkkyle wrote: Okay guys I know this forum is not exactly the forum that relates to this stuff but I couldn't think of a better place to find people who don't have more relationship issues than an adopted ginger kid. (Sorry if there is any gingers on the forum, just a joke )

Anyways my question is for the guys who are in serious committed monogamous relationships, on average how often do you have sex? How important would you rate it in your relationship. Does she initiate it or is it always you?

I'm asking this because of late it feels like my relationship of 8 months has fallen into this dryzone where I'm lucky if we have sex once a week and then it feels like I have almost begged for it. I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. In the beginning it wasn't crazy maybe 3 times a week which I was okay with but now it's almost a situation of me pressuring for it and her denying it. I love her and get along well with her in everything else we even train together. What would you guys do if you were in a similar position?

Anyways I have got that off my chest and found my adex I'll stop moaning :oops: Haha

Sounds like you are married Bru, cause that's exactly what happens when you put a ring on a woman's finger.
Guess who wears the pants in the home and who you ultimately have to worship, cause if you don't then there's no food waiting for you when you get home from work. Look at what happened to Adam in the garden of Eden, many a man have lost their head for woman.

Beware......!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously hope you are kidding with the post above:silly:

hey kkkyle. I agree with koe and ma. women want you to show them that you are with them and make them feel as if they are the most special person in the world.

I'm only with my lady for 3ish years but there's no lack of sex. I still send her random messages just saying I love her and miss her. show affection like holding her, just chill with her, enjoy her - the person she is.

the only advice I can give is "be easy". relax bud, put sex out of your mind for the time being and don't treat it as a goal. she'll pick up on that and close down the pudding factory. it's tiny things that open women up to be more receptive. things we might think are stupid or insignificant. tell them you love them. no motives behind it. hold them, kiss them, tell them they're beautiful. when they deny it, tell them again. just reinforce your feelings for her. do this and things will get better.

all the best.

Here is the real issue that I don't think there is a solution to ....90 percent of chicks just don't need sex that often.
That's the lack of high test in there systems I am afraid. Been married 10 years and I still get it like twice a week if I am good and she always enjoys it once we get going but I recon she would only really need it maybe every 2 weeks if that. Its just the way they built lol

Ontong wrote:

Kkkyle wrote: Okay guys I know this forum is not exactly the forum that relates to this stuff but I couldn't think of a better place to find people who don't have more relationship issues than an adopted ginger kid. (Sorry if there is any gingers on the forum, just a joke )

Anyways my question is for the guys who are in serious committed monogamous relationships, on average how often do you have sex? How important would you rate it in your relationship. Does she initiate it or is it always you?

I'm asking this because of late it feels like my relationship of 8 months has fallen into this dryzone where I'm lucky if we have sex once a week and then it feels like I have almost begged for it. I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. In the beginning it wasn't crazy maybe 3 times a week which I was okay with but now it's almost a situation of me pressuring for it and her denying it. I love her and get along well with her in everything else we even train together. What would you guys do if you were in a similar position?

Anyways I have got that off my chest and found my adex I'll stop moaning :oops: Haha

Sounds like you are married Bru, cause that's exactly what happens when you put a ring on a woman's finger.
Guess who wears the pants in the home and who you ultimately have to worship, cause if you don't then there's no food waiting for you when you get home from work. Look at what happened to Adam in the garden of Eden, many a man have lost their head for woman.

Beware......!!!!!!!!!!

Never ever be controlled by a woman or let it get to this point, I do whatever whenever there is trust, Dj the same I literally just land in Durban and him and I are already making plans his wife trusts him as well, it's not about being controlling or being controlled, it's about boundaries and honesty.
Incubus trust me women have a high sex drive you just need to know how to push the right buttons.
Ma I agree totally I've been with my wife for 12 years and that stage came after 2 years as we started dating when she was 16 I was 17 then I waited a year before sex then at year 2 it was exactly as you described, you learn to work at the relationship and become so open about sexual desires and requirements that both of you fulfill your wildest fantasies, trust me women are horny almost as often as we are they are just turned on by different catalysts

After 18 years of marriage, test for me + 50 shades for her were a godsend. :lol:

Seriously, all relationships go through cycles, but mutual respect is the key.

Ontong wrote: ..cause if you don't then there's no food waiting for you when you get home from work.

Assuming she understand's your macro's and nutritional needs.

But seriously Ontong, that sounds like a bad attitude. There should be no worship in a relationship, the closest thing should be respect.

[quote="Koe007" post=125469


Incubus trust me women have a high sex drive you just need to know how to push the right buttons.
Ma I agree totally I've been with my wife for 12 years and that stage came after 2 years as we started dating when she was 16 I was 17 then I waited a year before sex then at year 2 it was exactly as you described, you learn to work at the relationship and become so open about sexual desires and requirements that both of you fulfill your wildest fantasies, trust me women are horny almost as often as we are they are just turned on by different catalysts[/quote]

Well some of my mates wives sex buttons must be broken cause they lucky if they get it once a month , must suck to be in a relationship like that , but i guess there is more wrong with their relationship than lack of sex if it has gotten to that point.

its a difficult situation and not always easy, i love pampering my wife and buying her flowers and so on, she knows my needs and even injects me, but they have different mindsets, sometimes it goes well and sometimes i must almost beg for it. i am at the stage where i dont know what to do myself.

Koe is right, foreplay starts early the morning already, but sometimes i think they get spoiled to much and take it for granted and then you back at square 1.

My chick is always game, she wants it more than me.. Not complaining, just hard sometimes when you can't keep up.. Make your woman feel sexy and they will want to be sexy... Make them feel desirable, hot, sexy, etc.

Nice topic Kkkyle,

I have to agree - women require continues pampering, which I don't mind. So I buy her flowers, help out around the house, spoil her ,etc but not for sex but because I want to. My wife has a fairly stressful job so I try and give her some slack during the week although there are exceptions sometimes. Sex is basically reserved for weekends.

When we do engage, we try to make it as memorable for each other. Her goal - if she pleases me, it will will last me until the next weekend. My goal - if I please her, she'll come back for more sooner :lol:

One thing I do miss is the honeymoon, teenager sex where we're both initiating the process, rather than just me, which is usually sparkled when we're on holiday. I've even tried beating her at her own game, by not initiating anything. It lasted for a month, then I caved it :whistle:

Good to know I'm not the only one

I have some spare anavar maybe i should start making her some tea with a kick in the mornings

00pump wrote: My chick is always game, she wants it more than me.. Not complaining, just hard sometimes when you can't keep up.. Make your woman feel sexy and they will want to be sexy... Make them feel desirable, hot, sexy, etc.

i must agree with pump here, im in a position where its like all the time, and she normally always initiates too, we have been together for almost 2 years now and our sex life is great, we feel comfortable with eachother and are very open about our relationship to eachother and always speak our minds, communication is key.

i must admit sometimes IM not in the mood, but there is always a valid reason. KKKyle maybe you should talk to her about it, maybe something is holding her up or she isnt quite comfortable with something?? and by you showing you care to talk about it and try resolve it and support her (if there is something), might just change a few things??

Thanks okes most of this I have done. Or I still do everyday because I love her but I think we have just got bored of one another or something. I have talked to her about it and she says she gets annoyed with herself because she doesn't want it more. I can't always take her out because I am working with a student budget and shits expensive. I'm just lucky my mom will paid for my gear. Anyways I'm trying to work at improving our relationship and will see what happens. I should add that she is currently using an anti depressant for her anxiety and she's on the pill both big time sex drive killers.

Sometimes wish I was in PP's or pumps position with my lady cos she is awesome:p

Incubus the anavar does not do much to their sex drive. My lady is running 10mg a day and although she has had awesome results in the gym there is no change in sex drive.

It also becomes a bit disheartening when you try talk about it and she is tells you that she just really finds sex pointless and feels that she can think of much better things to do than have sex and that she really just couldn't be bothered about it. That's what frustrates me... I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship where I feel like the needy one who always wants sex and she is the giver and controller of sex I want it to be more mutual. I'm I wrong in thinking that?

kkkyle, what is her age if you don't mind me asking and which contraceptive pill is she taking exactly?

Also, are the two of you living together or how often do you see each-other?

Unless you have a nymph, they will always lose interest. Thats how they are wired. The only way to have frequent sex is to change them as soon as they show these signs.

jackrabbit1 wrote: Unless you have a nymph, they will always lose interest. Thats how they are wired. The only way to have frequent sex is to change them as soon as they show these signs.

yeh jackrabbit, always monitor them and as soon as you see the warning signs take immediate action. :lol:

jackrabbit1 wrote: Unless you have a nymph, they will always lose interest. Thats how they are wired. The only way to have frequent sex is to change them as soon as they show these signs.

:lol: :lol: :silly:

im in the exact same situation here kkkyle..my girl and i have been 2gether for 7 months now..the first 3 months were crazy..some days we had sex 3 times in the space of about 7 hours..we did it atleast 4-5times a week..and if we couldnt we would go for some foreplay..now..thew past 2-3 months have been pretty dry..i got some for the first time in 2 weeks on sunday..in the begining both of us used to initiate..now the past few monthsd its ONLY me that initiates..she will never come to me for sex..now and then ill show her im horny and ill start kissing and touching her..then she will tune me striaght..she not in the mood..i had a lil talk to her on sunday as well about it..so ya..hopefully things will go better..and i do alot for her..im not there just for the sex..i text her throughout the day..hold her..kiss her..tell her i love her and howe much she means to me etc..but still she just doesnt give a shit:( haha..she was on the pill Quilaria or something like that..her sex drive was down on that and moody as hell..but she came off now..hope she gets back up trhwere.haha...its actually gotten to a point where im scared to ask for sex..coz then she just fights..ahh all you want is sex etc.