Married life and T

DJ wrote: No TV or a good catholic family or really long cold winters...haha

LOL, waste not thy man juice!!

FIllet wrote:

DJ wrote: No TV or a good catholic family or really long cold winters...haha

LOL, waste not thy man juice!!

Hahaha, it's a complicated story :silly: !

After much prying from the therapist, felt like a Spanish inquisition... she came to the conclusion that I am a plausible flirt but I do it without realising it and it has a lot to do with open personality so sometimes I don't realise I am doing it. She said gifted with good features does not help. My wife is insanely jealous and this could be my fault. Apparently. This was the main focus on this session - next session is how to remedy and move onto the next problems. Wife says she wants a husband that is hers and not everyone elses.

Not sure how I feel about this.

It does help having someone else point out your issues though...

You can handle tough love....

Go read the Pixie posts... what would your wife's reaction be if she red that? How would you feel if the situation was reversed and she did that with other men ......

Think about it before you reply bud....

Ye I got big shoulders

I know, I allow way to much to go on. Meet with plenty reps and I have a flirtatious way about myself. BUT I don't always realise it.

She is also a rep

There is a fine line that you do not cross when flirting...... kak boet, you know when you cross the line.

If you don't, then think what would you do if you had to find her doing *this*. That's if you truly love her...

I hear that brother + you have more experience than me so I do respect your response.
Take a step back and re-evaluate my personality.

Oupa wrote: There is a fine line that you do not cross when flirting...... kak boet, you know when you cross the line.

If you don't, then think what would you do if you had to find her doing *this*. That's if you truly love her...

Good point there Oupa. Bottom line is that if if makes your wife uncomfortable you better stop it if you want a happy marriage. It's also hard not to flirt with other women when you are having problems in your relationship since of course you want to get the attention somewhere.

My wife doesn't give a crap if I am muscular and ripped or if I look like a skinny yoga instructor. It used to really annoy the crap out of me that she wouldn't admire my body when I was in tip top shape, and I would flirt more with other chicks to get the attention. Now I'm just used to it I guess and I don't get off on flirting like I used to so I don't even both much.

But let's be honest, guys like us who use steroids and get obsessed about gymming and looking good are generally very vain no matter how humble we think we are. That can be very hard for our women when they are supposed to be the ones we are checking out more than we are looking in the mirror.

No, be who you are, just don't do to others that you won't do to yourself.

Keep your nose clean, and don't get involved with shit. 1hour of pleasure doesn't justify 3 lives that will change forever. If you want to *bang* a girl, or girls, be a man and tell your wife you can't stay commited. Live with the consequences.... it was you choice

F*ck it. You both have really good points.

Dude all I have to say is all the best. I lost my best friend and mrs pretty recently and you don't realise what you have until it's gone. Yeah the grass may look greener on the other side but it never is. Work on your relationship, don't be stubborn like I was. I had the opportunity to go for counselling with her but was way too hard ass to do that. I'm glad you decided to go. The most important thing in this whole situation is your child and the best thing for the kid is two parents who really love each other and they show it.
Thanks, you can leave your payment on the way out

David.biohazard wrote: Dude all I have to say is all the best. I lost my best friend and mrs pretty recently and you don't realise what you have until it's gone. Yeah the grass may look greener on the other side but it never is. Work on your relationship, don't be stubborn like I was. I had the opportunity to go for counselling with her but was way too hard ass to do that. I'm glad you decided to go. The most important thing in this whole situation is your child and the best thing for the kid is two parents who really love each other and they show it.
Thanks, you can leave your payment on the way out

Eish..! Good luck Bud

I'm already working on a plan to win her back, time is all that is needed...to be the best version of me I can possibly be. Thanks Rhino

David.biohazard wrote: Dude all I have to say is all the best. I lost my best friend and mrs pretty recently and you don't realise what you have until it's gone. Yeah the grass may look greener on the other side but it never is. Work on your relationship, don't be stubborn like I was. I had the opportunity to go for counselling with her but was way too hard ass to do that. I'm glad you decided to go. The most important thing in this whole situation is your child and the best thing for the kid is two parents who really love each other and they show it.
Thanks, you can leave your payment on the way out

Thanks for advise, why are we such stubborn F ups, when we started having trouble my immediate conclusion was divorce but I wanted my dude. She was sensible and convinced me to join her in counselling. Married life is very trying... but I will keep trying.

Nothing in this life, that is worth it, is easy work bro and you should know this from your own experiences in bodybuilding. Yes we take aas (the counsellor) as an aid to reach our goals. We all need help somewhere along the way lol. All the best brother and keep at it. You've already started on the right track

FIllet wrote: Thanks for advise, why are we such stubborn F ups

Its called pride bro, as humans we never want to be wrong. Need to be humble in every approach in life.

Really appreciate your input. Thanks

David.biohazard wrote: Dude all I have to say is all the best. I lost my best friend and mrs pretty recently and you don't realise what you have until it's gone. Yeah the grass may look greener on the other side but it never is. Work on your relationship, don't be stubborn like I was. I had the opportunity to go for counselling with her but was way too hard ass to do that. I'm glad you decided to go. The most important thing in this whole situation is your child and the best thing for the kid is two parents who really love each other and they show it.
Thanks, you can leave your payment on the way out

Thanks bro. This is a great wake up call post for many married guys. We (myself included) take what we have for granted way too often.

Yes great advice... but for God sake please don't bump your head 100000 times to realise this marriage is going nowhere.....

I can write a 1000 page book about how many people say "SHIT" i should have ended it back then, but i did it for my kids. KIDS WILL GROW UP AND HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES !! Your happiness is CRITICAL !!

Best thing i ever did was to get divorced when my kids was young. Today they understand everything and i have had a good life (so far) ...

I must agree with oupa, but im comenting from the point of the young kid who had divorced parents. I was young, I didnt understand. I was angry and hurt... but guess what. I grew up, I realised my parents where just happier going there seperate ways. I watched it drain eachother sensless trying to stay together for me. Which just was not worth it. They are far happier, have other people in there lives amd everyone is on good terms. 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce today. Its not an uncommon thing, many people go through it aswell as the effected kids. And trust me from experience, its far easier seeing two seperate parents happy. Then unhappy together.. just because you wont or might not be in there household. It doesnt mean you cannot be a huge part of there lives. Your own happiness is critical as oupa said. I salute you trying counseling. But if uts a dead end road. Then call it quits and fpcus on yourself and your kid. You might be surprised at how much easier it is to find happiness.

PoisonedPulse wrote: I must agree with oupa, but im comenting from the point of the young kid who had divorced parents. I was young, I didnt understand. I was angry and hurt... but guess what. I grew up, I realised my parents where just happier going there seperate ways. I watched it drain eachother sensless trying to stay together for me. Which just was not worth it. They are far happier, have other people in there lives amd everyone is on good terms. 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce today. Its not an uncommon thing, many people go through it aswell as the effected kids. And trust me from experience, its far easier seeing two seperate parents happy. Then unhappy together.. just because you wont or might not be in there household. It doesnt mean you cannot be a huge part of there lives. Your own happiness is critical as oupa said. I salute you trying counseling. But if uts a dead end road. Then call it quits and fpcus on yourself and your kid. You might be surprised at how much easier it is to find happiness.

+1 PP, spot on.

Fortunately i'm not aggressive. I do have a shorter fuse on cycle, compound dependent. My other half always knows what i'm on and understands the side effects. It makes a difference if she understands what going on. If she turns on Bitch mode she wins anyway haha. having a short fuse is one thing, but being ride and attacking each other on a personal level is another. There are definitely underlying issues that need to be addressed. All the best.

Cool Bandit. Agression is a curse and i have it! Genes, my dad is aggresive by nature

FIllet wrote: Cool Bandit. Agression is a curse and i have it! Genes, my dad is aggresive by nature

Anyway lets not focus to much on the agro part as i have that under control, will never get physical with women or kids. If i really lose it i focus on things that dont have feelings lke doors etc. A lot of guys i know are like this so its not abnormal. Just being hounest here so dont shoot me down.
Problems are relationship wise like insults, threats same old. We either make it or break it, will see

It's an Eastrand thing.. :lol: