Jokes

gab
Platinum Member

08 Feb 2012 15:11 #91815 by gab

Replied by gab on topic Jokes

Gehoor hoekom die padwerkers so stadig aan ons land se paaie werk?
Daar staan mos geskryf:
Don't fool yourself, SPEED kills!!!!

If working on body and character doesnt cost you something its woth noting. If criticism is all that proceed out of your mouth then know that is how you feel about yourself and depicts the health of your soul.

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gab
Platinum Member

08 Feb 2012 15:12 #91816 by gab

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Twee dronk latte loop op die treinspoor.
Na 4km se die een, die flippen trappe maak my klaar!!
Ander een sê trappe is ok! dis net die reelings wat so vrek laag is.

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LXIX
Platinum Member

14 Feb 2012 20:10 #92883 by LXIX

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What's 6 inches long and won't get sucked this Valentine's Day?
-
-
-
-
-
-
Whitney Houston's crack pipe

:pinch:

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana

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Empire
Expert

15 Feb 2012 11:01 #92979 by Empire

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Breaking news: tooth fairy declared bankrupt after visit to the Cape Flats...

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TestFreak
Elite Member

15 Feb 2012 18:29 #93085 by TestFreak

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more bad news : chuck norris died this morning... but his okay now lol

The following user(s) said Thank You: Pyroclasm

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Zeus
Senior Member

16 Feb 2012 11:19 #93184 by Zeus

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Kinky Laughs :

The Italian says, "When I've a finshed a makina da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floatsa 6 inches above da bed in ecstasy."

The French man replies, "Zat is nothing, when Ah 'ave finished making zelove with ze girlfriend ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen ah lickz er soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The South-African says, "Bra, that's nothing. When I'm finished banging my stekkie, I get out of bed, walk over to the window .. Chune her "ehy ur ballies bak"..
She hits the fu kken roof, ekse!!!

)

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Zeus
Senior Member

16 Feb 2012 12:09 #93198 by Zeus

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Message from the Government:

The government announced today that its changing its national symbol to a CONDOM
because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation,halts production,destroys the next generation,
protects a bunch of pricks,and gives you a sense of security while you're
actually being screwed.
Damm, it just doesn't get more accurate than that

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NorthBoy
Elite Member

16 Feb 2012 12:59 #93213 by NorthBoy

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:lol:

Now that the Bulls play in pink....
1) One lucky season ticket holder will win a free make-over during half time of each match.

2) Fans will no longer be allowed to braai before kick-off, instead fondue stations will be available for snacks

Live each day as if it's your last, love those close to you !

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acidkidsa
Platinum Member

16 Feb 2012 13:18 #93216 by acidkidsa

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My Joke:

DJ

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Never fraternize with them as equals, never accept them as your social equals or they will devour you, they will destroy you.

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Juice
Platinum Member

22 Feb 2012 14:53 #94118 by Juice

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Ondier
Platinum Member

22 Feb 2012 15:51 #94131 by Ondier

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TestFreak wrote: more bad news : chuck norris died this morning... but his okay now lol

I also heard Chuck Norris is the only oke who can drift a horse :lol:

"Captain, they have us surrounded"
"Excellent, we can fire on all directions"

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Zeus
Senior Member

22 Feb 2012 17:28 #94175 by Zeus

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LITTLE FLAB !!

One morning while making breakfast,
a man walked up to his wife,
pinched her on the butt and said...
"If you firmed this up, we could get rid of
your control top pantyhose."

While this was on the edge of intolerable,
she kept silent.

The next morning,
the man woke his wife with
a pinch on each of her breasts
and said....
"You know, if you firmed these up,
we could get rid of your bra."

This was
beyond
a silent response...

So she rolled over
and
grabbed him
by his
'DANGLER.'

With a death grip in place,
she said...

"You know,
if you
firmed this up,
we could
get rid of
the gardener,
the postman,
the pool man
and
your brother!"

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Kkkyle
Platinum Member

27 Feb 2012 21:47 #94769 by Kkkyle

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Love the buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn! :evil:

I'd rather die standing than live a life on my knees.

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Kkkyle
Platinum Member

27 Feb 2012 22:45 - 27 Feb 2012 22:46 #94779 by Kkkyle

Replied by Kkkyle on topic Jokes

Nothing smart about this.

Love the buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn! :evil:

I'd rather die standing than live a life on my knees.

Last edit: 27 Feb 2012 22:46 by Kkkyle.

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Kkkyle
Platinum Member

27 Feb 2012 22:48 #94781 by Kkkyle

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Love the buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn! :evil:

I'd rather die standing than live a life on my knees.

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Fakey_AK
Platinum Member

29 Feb 2012 07:03 #94961 by Fakey_AK

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'n Polisieman trek n man van die pad af en soos hy die venster benader haal hy dadelik sy rewolwer uit en soos hy by die venster kom skreeu hy "WAAR IS DIE KLEIN MIEISIE!!!!" die man sy toe "Watse klein meisie?" Die polisieman mik met sy rewolwer na nie man en skreeu weer "WYS MY DIE KLEIN MEISIE!!!" Die man nou in trane en tjank soos n hond se "Ek sweer ek weet nie!" Die polisieman lag lekker en se "Daar is die klein mieisie!"

Die juffrou se vir jannie dat dit tyd is vir hom om 'n rympie vir die klas op te se.
Jannie: "Allas kamallas my oupa krap sy ballas."
Die juffrou gee hom 'n moerse klap en se "sies!"
Hy dink toe en se: "Hoes kemoes my ouma krap haar maag."
Die juffrou se :"Jannie, dit rym dan nie!"
Hy se toe: "ja, want haar arm is te kort!"

"The hardest lift of all, is your ass of the couch!"

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." - Samuel Johnson

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PoisonedPulse
Expert

29 Feb 2012 07:21 #94964 by PoisonedPulse

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Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.

The doctor walks in and Michael asks: “Doctor, how long before we can have sex?”

The doctor replies, “I’d wait until he’s at least 14.” :blink: :whistle:

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PoisonedPulse
Expert

29 Feb 2012 07:26 #94966 by PoisonedPulse

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one for DJ haha :silly:

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iMan
New Member

04 Mar 2012 13:26 #95657 by iMan

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Picture of my freezer, bottom half is mine and top half flat mate. There is quite a difference is eating patterns of a normal student and a one that's in BB as you can see

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Juice
Platinum Member

04 Mar 2012 14:48 #95667 by Juice

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Those checkers steaks?

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iMan
New Member

04 Mar 2012 14:50 #95669 by iMan

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Juice wrote: Those checkers steaks?

haha yea

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CHAPEL
Platinum Member

04 Mar 2012 15:43 #95670 by CHAPEL

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how much are they? I have seen the adverts but haven't bothered to go check

To you it may look like I just did a push-up... But in fact, I just bench-pressed the world.

"You put the devil on the other side and I will come to fight." -Royce Gracie

Its legs day, legs day, gotta get down on legs day.

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iMan
New Member

04 Mar 2012 15:50 #95671 by iMan

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CHAPEL wrote: how much are they? I have seen the adverts but haven't bothered to go check

R70 per kg, no fat on it. Chicken is R40 per kg

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CHAPEL
Platinum Member

04 Mar 2012 15:55 #95672 by CHAPEL

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decent.. Hijack over.

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Inja
Platinum Member

05 Mar 2012 12:43 #95803 by Inja

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Well I see the word 'light' on a couple of your room mates boxes so the conversion in under way.
You just need to start walking around with your shirt off and leave a couple of half naked girls lying around the place every second or third morning. Soon you'll have your own little BB student

Sorry if I offend you
Its just my point of view

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